Health isn’t supposed to be a set of strict, rigid rules and bitter green drinks.

Health, when done well, is truly a sweet, sweet pie.

Yes, I mean that.

“Healthy” isn’t a one-sized-fits-all approach that everyone can take to achieve the same results.

It is a pie chart of multiple areas in life that need to be addressed—how you meet those needs, however, will be unique to you.

What are the items in this pie, you ask?

I have them listed below, as well as what I do personally in each area (take or leave these suggestions with a healthy grain of salt).

The slices of the pie are as follows:

Nutrition.
Movement.
Sleep.
Mental+emotional health.
Community.
Environment.
Spirit.

The thing I want you to keep in mind as you’re reading, is that I honor what works for me. When you honor what is easy, what flows, and what feels exciting for you, you will stay consistent.

Here are things I do as a licensed massage therapist and somatic practitioner in Missoula, Montana for each slice of the health pie—

Nutrition

This one is obvious. But lean in closer for this little secret:

Whispers dramatically: You don’t have to fucking meal prep.

Guys, the biggest reason people eat fast food is because it’s easy. And often tastes hella good.

So, permission to make eating healthier, easier and tastier.

I personally use Hungry Root.

I am not a sponsor for them, but I highly highly value them.

I am someone who thinks of food like this:

“I need to eat.
But in order to eat I need to cook the food.
But in order to cook the food I have to prep the food.
In order to prep the food I have to have the dishes done.
In order to even have food to prep I have to grocery shop.
In order to grocery shop I have to have a list…”

I feel like that fucking Kronk quote from Emperor’s New Groove.

Like. That is a whole day in my own head. It feels overwhelming, especially as a single woman who isn’t sharing meals and the responsibility of that in the household.

So before, I would make it as simple as I could to not overwhelm myself… but the meals would feel extremely boring, I wouldn’t eat them, and I would have waste that I would feel guilt for every damn week.

And don’t tell me to make fancy meals because I really don’t enjoy cooking.

So now instead, once a week, I choose the meals that are delivered by logging in online (I use Hungry Root because in my experience, they have the most customized options based on food sensitives, diet preferences, and more)—and bam. My grocery list and shopping is done.

It’s delivered once per week, the meals are still low ingredient and simple, but now super tasty and unique each time.

They provide me with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks.

I then see if there is anything that feels a bit lacking, or if I need to pick up more olive oil for cooking, or milk for my coffee, and just do a pickup for those items once per week.

The meals the day of only take 5-30 mins to make.

What once was a huge step-by-step process in my brain has now become a couple easy, enjoyable steps.

I’ve been eating healthier and more consistently than ever before.

Yes, it’s a bit pricey. My grocery bill isn’t cheap. But it’s saving me time and energy as a business owner that allows me more time to actually do the thing I like to do (take care of you guys), which actually brings me income in return.

It’s a better return for myself overall.

Others love cooking. Others might find a completely different routine that works for them. My personal trainer friend actually first recommended me to them, and she uses them to fill in some meals of the week but not all of them.

My point is that I stopped shaming myself for spending a bit more on my grocery bill because others instantly gasp over me choosing convenience, and I dropped the comparison game in the first place.

I just started following what actually works for me, my brain, my body, and my capacity.

And also my joy. I now love to eat the food I cook.

Other options are out there. Find people who are in similar circumstances as you and ask what they do.

(Side note: I’ve often seen that the most consistent people eat similar things each week, less brain power that way).

But the 7-second instagram reels are not real life, so please don’t base your expectations for yourself on that.

Movement

Repeat after me:

I do not need to move my body like the person next to me does. I do not need to move my body like the person next to me does. I do not need. . .

Look, I'm not a gym-goer. Maybe for a Pilates class once in a while but that’s it.

I honestly hate the gym. I hate how loud it is. I hate how many people there are. It’s overstimulating, overwhelming, and I feel insane pressure being in a place where I know people can watch me.

Some people thrive in that environment, and need it.

If so, go for it. Hit the classes, hit the weights, enjoy yourself.

I personally do a couple things:

I spend $19 per month for Bodi (the BeachBody app), because they’re incredible workouts built for you at home. They have everything from strength, cardio, pilates, and more—and all you need is some simple equipment, like free weights and loops.
I purchased one mobility toolkit from this lady here and now have the exercises I need to throw into my warmup that allow my body and joints to age gracefully, and support my body in the active work I do.
I walk. It’s free. It’s better for you than you think.

So most days I roll out of bed, work out in my underwear and bedhead after breakfast, and move on with my day. Or I grab my coffee and walk in my sweats to wake me up in the morning if I’m feeling low energy and groggy.

No overstimulation. No worrying about how my clothes fit next to the ripped people at the gym. No one watching me connect with my body and do weird, embodied movements.

Just me. Just my body. Just healthy connection.

For a couple years I let myself feel shame for the fact that others take more intense classes than I do, lift heavier than I do, or push themselves and show off in front of their friends each morning at the gym.

I mean I actually had people tell me I wasn’t doing enough because I wasn’t doing what they did.

I’m not built for a life of competition. It doesn’t drive me like it does others.

I prefer working out in the peace and quiet of my living room with free weights, and that actually keeps me consistent.

When I paid for an expensive gym membership I hardly used it.

I’m simply choosing what works better for me long-term (I’m building a theme here if you haven’t caught that yet).

Because how you feed yourself, how you move your body, how you do any of these things—

Gets to be deeply personal to you.

You do not need to advertise everything you do with a high-five on social media, so unless you’re like, “Damn. These comments really keep me energized and wanting to show up. This is working for me!”—

Just let yourself do what makes you fucking happy already.

SLEEP.

Guys, you need this so badly.

A proper 7-10 hours every night (based on which expert you listen to, women typically need a bit longer) will change your life. A healthy circadian rhythm impacts your digestion, your energy, your memory retention, your muscle recovery, how well you age—everything.

I highly, highly recommend a sleep routine. The brain loves stuff that feels familiar, because it’s easy and saves time. A sleep routine will greatly increase your capability to sleep well. Think of it like counting sheep for your brain every night.

Mine is as follows:

I take magnesium glycinate because this is what personally works for me—talk to your nutritionist or doctor if you have questions on this one—and while that’s kicking in I have my nightly routine of dimming the lights, doing my skin care, brushing my teeth, getting set up for the next day so I can rest easy, etc.

I also find that journaling and having a big brain dump before bed helps my mind to stop running.

I then curl up in bed and read a book until I fall asleep.

Get.

Off.

Your.

Phone.

I also deadass schedule naps almost every day. As someone who is highly sensitive, my nervous system genuinely needs more time for recovery.
You can read about this more in this book here if you think this might be you, too.

Play around with what works for you, and see a sleep specialist if you have to. But please don’t underestimate your need for a good night’s sleep. If you don’t sleep well and you feel low-energy, make poor food choices throughout the day, have a hard time finding motivation, have a lack of brain power—

look into how you can rest better, and I can bet your ass you’ll feel better across the board.

Mental+emotional health

Whatever you’re experiencing with your mental and emotional health, it’s real, and it’s valid.

Even if it doesn’t feel tangible. Even if others say “it’s not that big a deal.” Even if that person is you.

It is genuinely a huge part of your overall health. Honor that.

Your emotions happen in your brain. Your brain is a physical thing. The brain is part of your central nervous system, which dictates all the responses you have.
Meaning this is CEO of your body, bro. Can I state it any simpler??

How you think, how you respond, and how you feel is all happening in the nervous system and will impact all of your output. It impacts what food choices you make, how you speak to yourself, what your habits are, what drives you to get out of bed in the morning—how you exist throughout life as a whole.

To support myself in this, I focus a lot on my self-talk. To build and continue supporting this foundation, I go back and forth between mental health therapy and emotional release, or sometimes alternate with both, depending on what stage of life I’m in.

Emotional release is a deeper process of feeling the emotions instead of talking about them.
The reason this is important is because when you avoid your emotions, you’re avoiding the drivers behind everything you do.

If you avoid your anger, you end up people-pleasing and do what people tell you to do. Where’d your spine go, babe?

If you avoid your sadness, you avoid vulnerability that allows you deeper connection with the people you love.

If you avoid joy, sensuality, excitement—you are seriously missing out, my dude.

Sometimes you need to just feel instead of talk around it, because it’s a muscle you haven’t learnt how to build. That’s what this is for.
If you’re interested in scheduling a session with me, you can learn more and do so here.

Mental health therapy or coaching is great for understanding things cognitively and building strategies. There are times where feeling the emotions might feel too overwhelming, or you might need more tangible tools to help you navigate specific situations in life. I have therapists recommended here if you need referrals.

Community.

It isn’t talked about enough.

And I don’t mean just any type of community—I mean building an environment where you feel honored, loved, supported, showing up exactly as you are.

Messy, imperfect, growing.

Where you have a place, you have a purpose, and there is a natural harmony of give and receive.

When this is lacking, we end up carrying a lot more on our own shoulders that doesn’t just impact us mentally and emotionally, it begins to impact our fascia, hormones, and gut health as well (all that stress hits us in our bodies, too).

Feeling safe amongst friends and family is one of the number one indicators for overall health and wellbeing.

This is why I’ve created my Women’s Circle, so that women who might lack this community can begin to build it.

I also actively work in coffee shops and chat with the baristas, remembering their names and becoming a regular at places.

I talk with my friends daily, even on the phone if it means they aren’t local.

And I actively work on building collaborations with other practitioners and professionals in town to expand a network for myself and my clients.

We aren’t meant to do life alone. Our nervous system is not designed for a lone-wolf mentality. Going against this deteriorates your health.

Build the connections. Seek help in building the connections, if need be.

But build.

Environmental health

—is something a lot of people don’t think about.

Where you live matters.

Look at your home, your neighborhood, the politics and policies where you live, your work environment, etc.

Do you have a home that’s clean and organized, or do you struggle with a messy, cluttered space where you can’t find anything?

Do you live in an area that struggles with black mold growth?

Is your neighboring area full of violence and do you live in fear?

Are the local politics and policies in place harming you?

Are you taking care of the earth that houses you?

The environment you’re in shapes you. It’s important that it’s one that shapes you for your highest good.

It’s also very important to keep in mind that there are systems and policies in place that you may not have control over, that directly impact you and your environment.

Acknowledging that this still does impact you can be incredibly validating for many who’ve been taught to undermine themselves.

You, as part of your birthright, deserve to be in the kinds of environments that nurture you.

By leaning into support systems that do give a fuck—you have a much better chance at feeling better all around.

If you’re someone who lives in an area or with systems that leave you in a privileged position, please spread support however you can for others suffering suppression by these same systems. Think of the individuals suffering from racism, misogyny, homophobia, and more, even if these don’t directly impact you.

This is happening in your own neighborhoods.

The reason it doesn’t impact you, is because others are forced to carry the burden. It’s very important to understand this.

There are many resources online for those needing support and those wanting to be an ally.
A very easy thing I personally do, is follow creators on social media and/or like+engage with content that is educational around these topics. The more I understand how it is to be someone else, the more empathy I create and the less judgment that exists.
This also boosts these creators’ engagement, and helps further spread the word (and hopefully their pockets).
If you have the finances, you can just put the cash directly in there.

Educate yourself and nourish your environment right back. Acknowledging where you’re well off and supporting those that might feel lack in that area, help the environments around you stay strong.

And helps all of us to feel hope.

Spiritual health

—yes, even if you’re atheist. And hear me out.

I grew up Mormon Fundamentalist, broke free from the high-control religion as a young adult, studied a couple different churches before becoming atheist, and have now circled around to my own version of spirituality.

I’m finding it’s not about whether or not you believe in a diety(s). It’s about knowing that you’re apart of something much larger, and that you belong to the greater whole.

Having a sense of purpose, belonging to each other, the earth, or a God, having a drive towards accomplishing something meaningful to you—this energy is a powerful driver that creates a sense of wholeness in a person.

However this might look to you doesn’t matter, really. People might fight me on that, but I believe that knowing you belong here, and that you get to accomplish something impactful during your life, gives you a reason to keep going and showing up in a world that can feel overwhelming and discouraging at times.

However you nurture this is up to you, but I do believe it’s important that we don’t push our beliefs on others, but rather cultivate a deeper belief in ourselves and that we have a place here.

The theme from what I do is:

despite what others on social media, amongst family, friends, etc., say to do—honoring what works for you is what will actually become habit.
Which is what creates consistency.

The other piece is remembering there are multiple pieces. When one is out, the others will start to follow suit.
It also works vice-versa.

Starting small in each area of the pie, picking up one at a time, will help this process to feel less overwhelming and will slowly start building the foundation you need to feel optimal.

Give different methods a try. Keep an open mind. But above all honor your own capacity, your own excitement, and your own enjoyment of staying healthy. Knowing that all these parts of you matter just as much as the next. You deserve this level of intention and care from yourself.

Who you are becoming is shaped by the choices you make in this moment.

Excited to see what choices those are, and I hope they’re fully aligned for you.

As always, so much love.

Tor

The 7 Areas of Health Nobody Talks About (But Affect Everything)